🍹How Many Spritz Before You Text Your Ex

A scientifically useless estimate of texting your ex tonight.

Beneath the joke there's a real mechanism: alcohol lowers impulse control and makes an idea you'd dismiss in a heartbeat while sober suddenly feel brilliant. Add nostalgia and a late hour, and that text to your ex starts to feel almost inevitable. The number above is made up, but the urge it describes isn't — it's the same impulse that talks you into one more round or a nine-minute voice note.

The trick isn't willpower, it's removing the opportunity: leave the phone in your bag, alternate every Spritz with a glass of water, and if you're driving you already know the night ends sober. The exact same logic runs behind the bar: whoever runs the place keeps an eye on how many drinks to serve, knows the legal blood-alcohol limits and works out the cost of every round. If the serious side intrigues you, take a look at the blood alcohol calculator and what a Spritz really costs, just below.